Last week I had the pleasure of writing my first article for Twenty Something Living. The article is called Why Your Twenties Matter. It's about understanding why they matter and taking action now, instead of letting the years pass you by. I also quote Meg Jay (author of "The Defining Decade") throughout the article. She explains why your twenties matter from the point of view of someone who has worked with twenty somethings her whole life. My article is from my point of view; a twenty something who read and understood Meg Jay's book and is here to tell her peers exactly why they matter so much.

Take a look at this great website. They have many great articles about all kinds of topics related to twenty somethings and great tips/advice. You can find my article about halfway down the home page or just click here and it will take you directly to the article I wrote. 

I hope you all enjoy the article and my future articles; don't forget to subscribe by email to Twenty Something Living. 

Xoxo,

Tips & Essentials for your Office Space

Since I am a busy writer who also has a daytime job in retail; I am naturally a very organized person. With my OCD in organization, comes a very organized office space. It's where I do all my writing, and handle my business with the websites I work for. Being a writer means you are going to take and keep lots of notes, need to have writing guides in hands reach and of course a place for my subscriptions to Elle Magazine and Cosmopolitan.

From note-taking, to Skype calls/meetings, and jotting down ideas daily I finally ordered my own Agenda from Kate Spade New York. I need it so badly to start writing down my dates for when I turn in my articles, when i post to my blog, my meetings and other necessary dates related to my life as a writer.

Here are a few things on my desk that I absolutely need to keep me organized and working efficiently:

• Small sticky notes - So that I can post them on the side of my laptop for quick reminders
• Tape, a stapler, paper clips, pens, highlighters - The essential office supplies that I use almost daily
• Several stylish notepads - Gotta have the good style right?
• My laptop and Ipad - Thats just a must. I usually have both devices up and running while working/writing
• Two polka-dot tin cans - One for my pens and such and the other for my small paper trash
• Letter Filer - I need this to file my notes and such. I also have a regular file cabinet for everything else
• Coaster and Coffee mug - I'm a coffee drinker, who isn't?
• A place for my magazines - Because I love having them handy and on display
• A cork board - Great for pinning notes and reminders, or just ideas. 

What's in my drawers and storage bins? Extra supplies, notepads, sticky notes, journals, and documents. I also love to add a couple accessories/decor. Check out the pictures below of my office space and other spaces I am in love with. 

My Desk

My Desk

My Desk

7 Benefits of Being Single

When you're in a relationship, sometimes you miss out on events in life and sometimes you just become so in love that you find yourself not doing the things you used to do when you were single. We have all been guilty of being in the honeymoon stage of a relationship or of being in a relationship where you want to spend most of your time around your significant other. But it's those relationships that remind us of the need for balance. When you're in those type of relationships, you forget the good of being single.

Perhaps, you're the type of person that feels they have to be in a relationship all the time. In other words, you're not single for long between each relationship you have. You're constantly dating and you think being single is the worst thing since bell-bottoms. Or perhaps you are the type of person who doesn't mind being single but a part of you wishes you were in a relationship.

Whatever your feelings may be on this subject, I feel like we should strive to have the best type of relationship...a relationship with yourself. As quirky as that may sound, it's true.
The benefits of being single are being able to get to know your best and worst self. The benefits below are great example.

Having time for family and friends
This is probably the biggest benefit. As we all know, being in a relationship sometimes means seeing less of our family and friends. (Although that shouldn't be the case) Nonetheless, having time for your loved ones is great. Spend part of your free time with them.

Alone time
Spend the other part of your free time doing things alone. Enjoy the peacefulness of having that time to yourself. I know people who say they will never go see a movie alone or go out to dinner alone. But I think most people would be surprised how many people actually do these things alone. There is nothing wrong with going to dinner by yourself. It doesn't mean you're a loner and it doesn't mean you have no one to go with. All it means is that you wanted some alone time and you're enjoying yourself.

Checking out local hot spots with friends
You remember that Saturday your friend invited you to the opening of the newest club in downtown? You didn't go because you and your ex opted to have a movie night in. Well, now is the chance to catch up on the latest social scene. Go to that local bar, or new club in downtown and enjoy events in your cities with your group of friends.

Focusing more on your career or career path
Perhaps you found yourself slacking off on the college courses or even slacking off at work. Now is the time to re-focus on all of that. Go back to school and focus on getting that raise or promotion you want. Continue focusing on making a better life for yourself.

Saving money

One of the most common things I hear of are how happy people are to not have to spend money on someone else now that they are single; especially if you're a guy. It's well known that men usually do more of the spending in a relationship. But, whether you're a giving guy or a giving gal, being single means not forking out the dough on your partner. And let's be honest, it's pretty nice to spend that money on yourself now. 

Flirting 

Oh the joy and freedom to flirt with whoever you want, whenever you want to. And no more only being able to look and not touch. Now is the time to have fun and let loose, but not too loose, if you catch my drift? 

Full control over your life

Whether you're getting out of a long term relationship or a long marriage, having that full control is amazing and freeing. A lot of times, we tend to make our decisions with our partners in mind, and that's all peaches, except for one thing. Many times, those decisions aren't everything we really want. So now that you're single, take advantage and do what you want, and make the decisions that are best for you and only you.

(Writer's note: You can also find this article on Howtogetittogether.com. I originally wrote this article to be featured for their website. They featured me there as a guest blogger and I would love for my readers to check out their website as well. Thanks!)

When curiosity becomes reality

You pull out of that driveway, you take a quick look in the rear view mirror, then take a deep breath. You ask yourself, "Did that really just happen?". Moments later you're on your way home and the flashbacks start coming. One moment you're thinking about how you're going to have to act normal in front of your husband, the next minute you're remembering your lover ripping off your clothes. You can't help but feel this guilty pleasure, yet a satisfaction about what just happened. Every emotion is running through your body and every thought that races through your mind, is of the last two hours. You keep picturing your lover on top of you, behind you, pleasuring you, lusting...for you and only you. 

This is an all too familiar scene of real life. I've heard the stories countless times, over and over again, told in different ways. The first and initial excitement of having an affair for the first time. Whether it was someone  cheating on their spouse or someone sleeping with someones spouse, it was some type of affair. There's a chill that runs through the room when you hear these stories. I know people who take pleasure in the excitement alone. I know people who felt so guilty and never did it again. And I know people who got obsessed and drawn into that world of adultery, sex, lies and the adrenaline rush of it all.

How does someone go from a seemingly normal life to this? I believe there are so many different reasons. From the unhappy housewife, to the husband who felt like he settled and wanted 'more'. 'More'... A common phrase I hear in all of these scenarios. "I just wanted more, I wanted to feel alive again. I wanted to feel loved and I wanted the attention". 

As I sit back and reflect on other peoples curiosities, I started to reflect on my own. I've never cheated on a boyfriend. But the curiosity struck me once. Did I act on it? No. But I understand why people do act on it. I'm not saying it's right, because it isn't. But in the world we live in today, monogamy seems to be rare. Curiosity is in all of us. It's in those who are unhappy. It's in those who are completely happy. Every person has their reason for cheating. Every person has their reason for their curiosity. 

I had a friend who was completely happy with his wife, but he also had a girlfriend on the side. He said the sex with both was good but both women offered up different things for him. I personally don't get it, but people have their reasons. I have another friend who practically gets off from having sex with married guys. She says it's the excitement of it all. Being someone else's secret turns her on and the fact that it even is a secret turns both of them on and leads to incredible sex in different places. I have a friend who is married, and recently cheated for the first time and described the whole experience to me. She said it was amazing. But that she would never do it again. She was unhappy with her marriage and her and her husband rarely had sex. But once she experienced that thrilling night with a handsome stranger, she went back home and had sex with her husband. Now she says their sex life is incredible. All because of that experience. 

I understand curiosity. We all have it. Some of us don't act on it and just fantasize about it, while others do act on it and get their excitement that way. It seems to me that a lot of people are not attracted to the idea of being monogamous. But why? Are people such cowards that they can't break up with a person before cheating on them? Are people so obsessed with the pure excitement of adultery? My guess is both. There are a lot of people who see nothing wrong with this because this is unfortunately so normal. In the world of adultery, comes lies, sex and obsession with everything in between. My only question is, how many of you have acted on your curiosities? If you have already acted on it, why did you? 

When did Ignorance become Bliss?

Ignorance is Bliss? I certainly don't think so. I read an article earlier on elitedaily.com titled "Ladies, the smarter you are, the more likely you are to be single". First off, let me say that I love the way the writer wrote this article and how they presented the truth and both sides. I am also glad to have come across an article like this. Men, if you think this is wrong, you are on the right path. Ladies, if you can relate, share this blog with your female and male friends. 

It occurred to me while reading this article, that there were many valid points made. I agree with one very strong point...that there is an epidemic of settling in this generation. Whatever the reason may be, I would love to hear honest explanations from the many people who settle. How can we as living human beings allow ourselves to be so ignorant? How can anyone allow their heart not to be happy to its full capacity of happiness? 

What I have difficulty understanding is why this generation is the generation of settling? I applaud those who don't and are still looking for the right one or have found the right one...their equal. Why should we as woman not see through the lies and the BS? And why should men allow themselves to be with someone who does? How can they morally be OK with that? It's true what the writer says in the article about how people believe that ignorance is bliss. But it really shouldn't be. Too many people are stuck on this misconception, specifically several women. 

So then why must an intelligent woman suffer for what a guy lacks? Just because a guy doesn't want to be emasculated and wants to be the dominant one? I don't think so. I once dated a guy who said he was completely supportive of me going to school and focusing on my passion. But he really wanted someone who can do wifely duties and work around his schedule. It should be equal. It doesn't matter who makes more money or who is more intelligent (that phrase should not even be used in a relationship), an equal partnership should be allowing each other to grow together but in the right direction. Each individual pursuing their dreams while supporting one another along the way. 

For the men who feel threatened by more successful woman, you are so morally wrong to the core to feel and think that way. I'm sorry to tell you, but we don't live in the stone ages anymore. Couples should be empowering one another. Sadly, it's a fact that most people, female and male, like to be the better one in a relationship. 

Women are getting more and more intelligent and men just aren't getting more supportive. Men aren't progressing as they should be according to modern times. Instead, we are finding that deep down, men still feel the need to be superior. Men feel the need to be the one in charge and take on the macho roll of supporting his woman and family. That's all fine and dandy...if it was the 50s. As said in this article I read, the number of college-educated women far outweigh the number of college-educated men. So what does this tell you?

We live among a generation of idiots. No surprise there. Instead of women waiting for the man that is equal to her and empowers her, women have the tendency to settle and are lowering their standards just to find a guy who appreciates them. Women are giving up their careers and dreams for these men. Some would think, that's great. But the intelligent person knows right from wrong and logic from fantasy. The fact that so many women are settling and so many men actually want a dumb woman, shows that intelligence doesn't exist in those relationships. And only in those relationships, is ignorance truly bliss. For a person not to acknowledge the immorality in the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' is to not feel. You can argue with me and try to rationalize it in your mind but that phrase is simply fantasy. Meaning that you are so stuck in a state of mind where you believe you are happy because you have settled and lowered your standards. 

Where are the men who are supposed to challenge us and understand us? Where are the men who are supposed to shock us and support us? The men who think it's a turn on that their woman is so damn smart. God forbid, a woman tries to challenge a man or question him. Not in an accusatory way, just in a moral way. I believe that an intelligent woman has a right to be loved. Yes I just said that. Men who ditch a great woman simply because she exudes intelligence and success, is a coward. 

I once was ignorant. I once chose to be blind to the lies. Then one day I chose to see through all the lies and the BS. When I chose to not be ignorant and blind anymore, that's when I started to realize something. I was in relationships with guys I was settling with. And now I'll be totally honest. I find myself going on less and less dates. Not because I can't get one but because I'm tired of dating the same guy over and over. I have yet to find a guy who challenges and shocks me. I have yet to find that guy who is willing to support me and can understand me and wants to be my equal. It really isn't much to ask for, but in this generation, apparently it is. I refuse to settle for a guy who is going to lie to me, hide things from me, and talk badly about me behind my back. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. All woman should keep their standards high, and a man should want the challenge to meet these standards, and vice-a-versa. Both men and women should have high standard for each other, and those standards should be of equal balance. 

For some time I thought I was crazy to have such high standards, but I've realized over time and through my personal experiences that intelligence is key for a relationship. We can't let ourselves believe that ignorance is bliss and we should strive to eliminate this epidemic of settling. Intelligence should be expected in a relationship. I'm not just talking about college-educated either. Intelligence means being independent, knowing how to love yourself first before loving another person. Intelligence is knowing right from wrong in both logic and morals. Intelligence is knowing and understanding what equality is. To live your life in ignorance isn't bliss, it's tragedy. 

Summer Date ideas

Whether you're getting to know someone or in a relationship, summer is the time to move things outdoors. From beautiful hikes to rooftops pools, this is the season to go outdoors and have fun, all the while mixing in some romance. Some of my favorite dates have been in the summer. We're free to explore the beauty if our city and explore other cities as well. So be sure to get these dates in before summer ends!

Movies in the park at sunset
Cuddling up with your special someone, with a blanket and an outdoor screening of Casablanca. Watching that sunset go down as the movie starts is even more romantic. Most major cities have movies in the park with a backdrop of your city skyline. So it's sure to be a beautiful night.

Hiking
Taking a hike around sunset or sunrise can be both romantic and establish a great connection. Also a great way to get to know someone if you're dating.

Picnic
A picnic in the park on a beautiful summer day or a picnic by the beach. That's a good way to soak in the sun and the romance in the air. Ooh-la la

Backyard dinner 
If you have a decent looking or great backyard, it's easy to snazz it up yourself and set up a dinner table on a warm summer night. All it takes is some flowers, a few candles, some great food and a little music if you please.

Wine tasting
Switch it up by going to a nearby wine tasting or an outdoor vineyard (if you have one near you). Sipping on some fine wine with your significant other can really up the romance. There's nothing like  wine and wine country.
Note: If you don't like wine, go beer tasting instead. Everyone has different tastes and different styles.

Beach/Pier walk
Taking a leisurely stroll on your local pier can be lots of fun. Spending the day on the beach, having a couple cocktails and munching on some good sliders. When sunset comes, being on the pier is the perfect location for you and your main squeeze.

Visiting the local Farmers Market
If you're a guy, taking your date to the farmers market can be a great way to romance her. Buying her a beautiful fresh bouquet of flowers and trying delicious food of all cultures. You get to know each other that way. It may lead to fun food and cultural discussions and memories to come. "Do you remember that Indian food we tried and the cool story the nice man was telling us about how his cooking lead to finding his love? Remember that was on our first date?"

Rooftop fun

Head to a rooftop bar for some drinks and dancing. Nothing says summer fun like a night out, literally.

Boat/Bike ride
From mini sunset cruises to renting beach cruisers on the boardwalk, most cities offer some great scenic fun. Take your date on a boat cruise around the Bay or even take your own two bikes out for a scenic ride. If you're lucky to live in a city that boasts both the city life and the country life, then take those bikes out to the country for a romantic bike ride and maybe even a picnic.

Take it to another City

Nothing tops a date idea like getting away for the weekend with your significant other. I once went on a little getaway weekend to Newport Beach, which is less than a two hour drive from where I live. My then boyfriend and I spent the whole weekend, at the beach, sightseeing, relaxing, romantic dinners, and taking in the sunsets. Taking the date to a whole other city, is a fun way to enjoy the summer, while taking a little mini vacation. Also if you're newly dating someone, it's a great way to get to know them. 

What's great about all these ideas is that the majority of them are not expensive ideas and some are even free. Most cities offer movies in the park for free. Hiking is absolutely free and that backyard dinner is practically free as well. So this summer, take your dates outdoors, have some fun, and soak up the romance in the warm summer air.

Be the CEO of your Life!

Being an independent person is one of the most valuable and most rewarding assets you could ever have in your life. Taking charge of your own life and of your own existence should empower you to do and be a better person in life, because there is always room for improvement. 

I see it everyday, in family and friends...people who depend on others. Independence does not come easy. It takes a lot of hard work and it takes a certain confidence in yourself to be able to step out into the world on your own. From purchasing your first car to buying your first home, being independent is so rewarding. I like to say that when you work hard and strive for the best, then there isn't anything you can't achieve. When you invest your time in schooling and/or your career, that's how you get ahead. Being independent and in control of your life, however, comes from within. 

Being an independent person doesn't just mean achieving our materialistic wants, it also means achieving self awareness. Knowing who you are and what defines you. Knowing that no one but yourself can define the person you are. The gratification of knowing what it means to love yourself outweighs the momentary gratification of having a materialistic item. As people say...money isn't everything; but self empowerment on the other hand, will give you happiness for the rest of your life. In order to start feeling and being independent, I believe it takes knowing who you are and being self aware of your love for yourself.

For those who don't know how to gain independence follow my advice and hear these words when I say, go boldly in the direction you seek. If you see yourself in a situation that is holding you back, then do what you need to, to move forward from it. I want to take a moment to acknowledge that there are some who were raised in an abusive and/or controlling environment. For these people, I must urge you to recognize that those environments and those people do NOT define you. They do not decide what you do with the rest of your life, nor do they dictate your thoughts. Be the best you, empower yourself, surround yourself with positive, strong, independent people. Those people are the ones who will empower you and encourage you, not bring you down or remind you of your past. In the words of one of my favorite authors, Meg Jay, "The unlived life is not worth examining". Don't look back, only look forward. 

It's hard to imagine yourself in a place in your life you are unfamiliar with. It's hard to envision yourself being someone your are currently not. But gaining your independence doesn't happen over night. For me, it took a little therapy because I needed help examining my life and figuring out who I was. Then I started to read books upon books, and articles. All of which were about being independent, loving yourself, letting go of the negative aspects in your life, what defines you, and how to take all that information and utilize it in your life. If you put forth both the effort and time, I guarantee you, it will be rewarding. There's no better feeling than waking up every day of your life and feeling an inner peace in your heart and mind. Whether you are spiritual, religious or neither, finding that inner peace is a gratifying feeling. 

Independence comes from within and from taking control over your life. Once you have that control of your inner peace and your life, it's time to announce your independence because you've done it. You've learned what it means to go through life not only empowering yourself, but empowering others as well. Most importantly, you've been through many lows to get to these great highs and you now know what defines you. Once you know what it is to have all of this, you're independent, you're strong, and you're the CEO of your own life. Embrace it.

Understanding Women

Recently one of my followers asked me to write about understanding women. I decided to do some fun research by asking both men and women what type of facts they wanted me to address. Understanding women can be difficult to dissect, while men are also just as difficult; but that's a whole other blog.

For centuries men have asked this question and they will continue to for centuries to come. At last, I'm here to tell you just how to understand women. The answer is...wait for it...there is no answer. All women are different, therefore breaking down every single part of a woman's logic, reasoning, actions, thoughts, motives, emotions, and anatomy is just down right impossible. What I can tell you is that a woman is the only person who will decide how easy or hard it is to understand them. Every woman decides how much of them they want to show; and in a lot of cases, women don't even understand themselves.

As a woman, I can tell you that it is true that a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. Meaning that we will always have some secrets or events in our life that will stay with us forever and never be shared. I can tell you that we can and will be difficult at times when we are NOT on our period. Sometimes you men just drive us crazy, or sometimes we are trying to tell you something. Listen, observe, and give us space if we need it or lend a shoulder if we need it. Women want to feel loved and be loved. Even the most independent, single, and self-aware woman wants to be loved. Women want men to listen to them. It's really simple. We talk about our day, you listen; and vice-a-versa. When we want to be left alone, sometimes we really just want to be alone and other times we are really just asking for attention. Use your best judgment on the situation. Did you just have a fight with her about something small and petty? Then go comfort her. Did you just have a big fight about a serious issue? Give her time to think.

Women are usually more emotional during sex, with the exception of the few who feel nothing and just want to bang you. We like the chemistry, the passion, and yes we like to have fun. But sometimes we want to take it slow and make love. Other times we want passionate, wild sex. It's just who we are. But, sex is more emotional for us in that we tend to feel when we're having sex. So naturally, this is why we become attached sometimes after having sex. A lot of men wonder why a woman becomes so attached after popping her cherry. For most women, their first time is really special, and we hope it's with someone we love and someone who really loves us back. When a woman is with a guy she loses her virginity to, she tends to feel a little clingy at first. Why? Because she just experienced one of the most important days in her life with you. You are the first guy she ever felt so comfortable with. You are the first guy to see her most intimate side and her most vulnerable side. Sex isn't just sex to most woman. It's something deep and personal and we really do think that whoever gets to experience it with us is the luckiest guy alive. If you are in a serious relationship, make sure you make it known how lucky you are to have her.

Guys will NEVER understand what we go through during that time of the month. Nor will you understand what it's like to feel so hormonal. Believe it or not, sometimes we don't know why we get so angry or cry. Our hormones are so out of whack that even we wonder why we just cried uncontrollably at the homeless dog we see everyday on our way to work. We see that dog every day but today we took one look and just sobbed like a baby. And we have no clue why. It sounds funny and it is, but it's something we can't control. Why do we get so angry or annoyed easily? Because of those darn hormones. Do not, i repeat do not try to tell us to suck it up or to get over it when we are hurting, angry, sad, crying, or annoyed. You will see the wrath of Satan inside us. No really, some form of him will come out. All joking aside, some women get very ill during that time of the month. Any part of our body can ache or hurt. What's the best thing to do for us during our period? Be there for us. Offer up a massage or a draw us a bath with candles for us to relax. A warm bath with Epsom salt is a great remedy. If you see us crying, just bring us the box of tissues, don't laugh and don't question it. Don't do anything to anger us. Avoid off topics and if you know what annoys us already, then don't provoke us. Sometimes, it's best to stay away from us all together.

I wont address the immaturity in women and those who play games. What I will address is the women who know what they want. If you are in a mature relationship then chances are you are already with a woman who knows what she wants and doesn't beat around the bush. These are the type of women you men want to surround yourself with. Then there won't be any confusion or nothing complicated about them. A woman who knows what she wants, is much easier to understand. So guys, pay attention, listen up...you won't ever completely understand women. But to get a better understanding about us, you have to have patience, have sympathy, and if you have any questions just ask us! Talk to us, and communicate with us.

Unfortunately there is so much one can write about this topic but that would most likely turn into a book. Women are hard to understand at times, but when you're paired with a good one, it becomes a little easier. What I suggest is not listening to your friends experiences, because every woman is different. No two woman are alike. Stop listening to your bro that says, "women will always be women". Whatever that idiotic statement is supposed to mean; its NOT true and never will be. The biggest mistake men make is listening to other men who think they know it all or think they have all the 411 on women. Sorry to break it to you guys, but I have yet to meet a guy who completely understands a woman. Plus, as I said before, no two women are alike. So you can't base one guy's opinion off of his experiences with women because they are all different.

I personally believe that men aren't meant to understand women completely. Just as we are not meant to fully understand men. There is some level of understanding we should have for each other. To get to this understanding, refer to your own experiences with women. Never have the belief that all women are the same. Never compare.

I'll leave you with some wise words:
     "Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood" -Oscar Wilde

Waterfront Fireworks

It's the 4th of July and the scene from Downtown San Diego is bumper to bumper traffic, all streets near the harbor and Seaport Village are closed off for pedestrians and people from all around come to enjoy the spectacular Big Bay Boom fireworks show. It's the biggest fireworks display west of Mississippi, and the best 4th of July event on the West coast. 

The city prepares 13,000 pounds of fireworks on 4 different barges around the San Diego Bay for a 21 minute show. People come from all over the United States and from different parts of the world to see the show that make your eyes glow with red, white, and blue lights. Best seen from Seaport Village, Harbor Island, the Broadway Pier, the Embarcadero, or Coronado, the show stretches across the waters of the bay to impress onlookers all around. 

Last year I had the once in a lifetime chance to see the show, in basically VIP seats from a gorgeous Yacht, anchored in the middle of the bay. A family friend generously offered my family and friends his yacht to cruise around the bay all day and into the night. So with about 20 people on board, plenty of delicious food and drinks to last us all day, we launched from a pier in Glorrietta Bay. We cruised all around the bay, then eventually set the anchor with views of Coronado on our left and the heart of Downtown San Diego on our right. I have never seen a more beautiful sight of our skyline than I did on that day. 

Once 9pm came around, the music started and so did the show. The pictures you see below don't compare to our actual view, althought a camera never perfectly captures the eyes view. The first firework went up in the air and exploded with a big boom. It was beautiful. You could physically feel each burst of firework. That's how close we were. And to see them we had to look strait above us. Not to mention that you could see the other fireworks shooting up in the air from the surrounding barges. It was a view like no other. I'll never forget the look on everyone's faces. Here we were, all adults and everyone stared in awe as though we were all kids for that moment, amazed with the lights and the overwhelming sound. 

Pictures from our Yacht taken by me.
           My personal favorite is this one

So for your next Fourth of July, if you are looking for something new and exciting to do, come so San Diego. For those of us who are so lucky to live here already, if up you have yet to do so, go see this amazing show. You will not be disappointed! 

Writers note: The top picture of this article/blog was a picture from Flickr of last nights show. The rest of the pictures were taken by me. Not the best of quality, but they were taken on my old iphone 4, with very minimal editing. All pics can be found on my Instagram: @jovi_casie . 

8 ways to get through that horrible break-up

Ever had one of those break ups where you just wanna curl up and watch movies in bed for like a week straight? Not having a single care about your hair, make-up, or your life. Just isolating yourself from the world and taking that time to cry it out. We've all been there. I think taking a week off from life is ok. But more than that isn't doing any justice to yourself. 2 days is too little, and 2 weeks it too long. 

Mending a broken heart doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't happen in a few weeks either. When you have been in a relationship with someone for 2 or more years and you were so deeply in love with them, it's usually a pretty hard breakup, especially on your heart. The immediate stop in communication between you two, seems like a huge change in what was usually an ordinary occurrence for you. It's hard. Stepping back out into the world is also hard. You start to see things that remind you of that person. You run into his family or friends...and you want to break down and cry. 

Eventually that will pass, with time, you heal and move on. And even when it seems like you never will, you will. How do you get over these hard break-ups? Well I would suggest following the list below. Use this as your break-up bible. Because in a sense, it's the main thing that's going to get you out of bed and be able to begin to move forward. 

Cut off all communication with him.

That torturous moment the day after your break-up, you don't receive a single text or call, and it hurts like Hell, it really does. And you are tempted to text him, but don't! Many people are tempted to stay friends with their ex at first. I did that once, but one of my good friends kept getting on my butt about it. "Don't talk to him, don't communicate with him" she told me. At first I didn't listen, and then when I did, it started to make sense. About a month or so after our breakup I got into an argument with him and I cut off all ties to him. I was beyond done at that point. So, trust me when I say that going cold turkey and cutting off communication will help you in the long run. And then in a year or so, if you happen to run into him and you two are able to remain friends, then do it. By that time you should be in a much better place and most likely you'll have moved on from him by then, so a friendship won't be as awkward. 

Use that week off from life productively! 

Sure take the first day to lay in bed all day, but after that, spend that time doing things and keeping busy. You don't need to go outside. Do things around your house or have a couple of your girl friends over for some ice-cream and movies. And maybe some Wine. By doing this, you're giving yourself time to grieve and cry, but at least you are being productive. You are getting some things done around the house, finishing that DIY project that you never got around to, or even getting some home workouts in. Which brings me to my next point.

Find an aggressive workout routine.

This is not the time to do yoga, you have plenty of time for meditation later. Immediately following your break-up, you want to find a fast paced and aggressive workout regimen. It's a great way to release the anger and stress and a great way to stay productive during that first week off and afterwards as well. I remember during one of my breakups, I was having an intense workout on my elliptical and my angry thoughts of him were fueling my workout. I was going hard, and then I broke down crying. Honestly, It was the best kind of cry, I was releasing him from my mind and releasing my anger. Another plus from this, is keeping off the extra weight we usually put on after a break-up. Yea sometimes we just want to let ourselves go and not have a care in the world. But don't do that, you want to look and feel good when you finally decide to go out. 

Go out with your girls!

At the end of that week, set up a night out with your girls. At this point you have cried pretty much all day everyday, and you need to force yourself to get up, shower, put on something sexy and those cute pair of heels and some red lipstick. Hit up a bar or club with your girls. It's the best kind of therapy. Your friends know you're going through a rough time so they are going to want to take your mind off of it and make you feel as good as possible. Don't be afraid, have fun, after all you're a single woman now!

Don't have a rebound guy.

We've all read those articles about how having a guy to rebound with is good and a good way to know that you're over your ex. No. I say no, because what if that guy really likes you or you start to like him. You don't want to mix those feelings so quickly after a breakup. I know some will disagree with me in this, but it's not just our hearts that need time to heal, it's our mind, body and soul that needs time to heal. Going out and having sex with some guy you met at the pub isn't going to make you feel better. And when you have alcohol in your system, you don't have a clear head. So make sure on that girls night out, you are sticking around them, not trying to find some guy to rebound with. 

Find your meditation or your calm and peaceful place.

After about 3 weeks, you are still going to be hurting, that feeling won't go away right away, remember that. But this is just another thing to do to get your mind off of your current situation and begin the healing process. Meditate, or find a place that gives you peace of mind. Now is the time to add yoga into that aggressive workout routine. I found that going hard in a fast paced cardio, then jumping into a yoga sesh after was both beneficial for me and rewarding. I would do like 30 minutes of cardio, sometimes an hour, and then go into my meditation mode with a few yoga positions and just sitting their in silence, while calming my mind. It paid off big time in the end. My mind slowly but surely began to eliminate the anger and hurt. I started focusing on the well being of my body, mind and soul. It may sound corny but let me tell you, it really did help me! 

Once you are done with the healing process, start learning how to love yourself.

Some people already know hoe to love their self and that's awesome. That's how it should be. But for those who are having trouble, going through the healing process isn't just about mending your broken heart and eliminating your anger, hurt and sadness; it's about finding you again. It's about learning to love yourself, so that the next break up won't be as hard. I previously wrote a blog about learning to love yourself, but I will briefly say here, that the best way to get over bad breakups or any negativity life throws at us, is to already know what it means to love yourself. Once you know what that means and once you have found out how to love yourself, everything becomes much easier. Break-ups, negative moments, everything. It really does. I promise you that if you take the time to love yourself first, you start to understand things better and you start to realize that their is no need for so much hurt or anger in these break-ups. 

Lastly, start to live.

When you start living your life again, while doing all the above mentioned, things start to fall into place. Perhaps you want to go after that promotion, or maybe you want to spend more time with a family member or a friend. Go do it. Start doing things that benefit your well being and when you start to do these things, make sure that you are doing it for yourself first. It's ok to be a little selfish in this scenario. After all, that's what you are focusing on during the breakup period. You are focusing on a better you and focusing on your own life. When you begin to live, things start coming to you unexpectedly; that promotion or raise, that guy you started flirting with at your local Starbucks, the family member you are trying to mend things with, and even new friends. 

When you start to love yourself, it exudes to the people and environment around you. Happiness spreads as much as negativity does. So find your happiness, find that peaceful place, and start to live again. And the next time you go through a break-up, remember these tips, it will only help you get through it much easier. 

 Instagram: @jovi_casie

Jovi.casie@gmail.com

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/12674145/?claim=kwbatrtryzf">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/12674145/?claim=gxvh6gsczf6">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Why men cheat

Recently I have read many articles on why men cheat. From facts and statistics to the writers opinion, those articles all had some truth to it. Also, why does society accept cheating? Is it because they don't want to mess up what they think is a 'good' relationship in their eyes, or are they in denial?

After doing a lot of research and even asking my friends a list of questions about their love life, I've come to conclude that there is no exact answer as to why. Obviously right? What I can say, definitively, is that cheating is sadly a 'norm'. But I believe that it shouldn't be. What constitutes a persons right to cheat on someone and not have the decency to just end the relationship before hand? I believe a lot of men are just selfish. They have their cake and they want to eat it too. I'm not talking about all guys, just the cheaters.

Whether your girlfriend is wonderful or a psycho, no woman, or person for that matter, deserves to be cheated on. If you don't like her, break it off. If you do like her, then why cheat? A lot of men feel the need of masculinity and dominance; this dates back to the caveman days. This needs to stop. What gives men the right to act on an urge because they think it was their given right since the dawn of time?

I once dated a guy who had an obsession with having to talk to a female pretty much every day. Sadly, this guy still believes he has never done anything wrong and this guy has so many underlying issues and he refuses to face them and acknowledge them. He is in his late 30s, which means he will never change and I've predicted that he will never settle down, so far I'm right. While we were together, he was constantly on Facebook chatting inappropriately with other women, and always on these raunchy dating sites. It's like he felt like he needed self-reassurance. Yes, because a nasty looking woman said she liked you, you are almighty and powerful (beats chest). Do you get the sarcasm there? Anyway, this guy was obsessed with it, and he never deleted his conversations. Not to mention he tried to hook up with most of these women. 

I never really confronted him about it because a part of me was scared to at the time. Until the day we broke up, when I confronted him about it. He didn't even look me in the eye when I asked him to just tell me the truth because it was over already. He still denied it like a coward. As if it was his fantasy world or something. 

Funny thing was that I did some research on his past relationships and the relationships he had after me and it all came down to the same reason as to why they broke up. He always tried to find something he thought was wrong with the woman he was with and he tried to be an analyzer and play 'Mr. Fix It'. What's even funnier is that most of these 'problems' were not problems. He just had that need, again, to point out a very small flaw and make it into something big. And he would always tell the woman she needed to fix it or else they couldn't be together. Point is, he was a jackass, and he had extreme emotional issues since he was kid. He never dealt with them and it has affected his relationships through most of his adult life. After that guy and I broke up, a lot of family and friends said I would be 'the one that got away' for him. 

There are a lot of men who are in denial of their issues and for that reason, it will always affect their relationships. People will cheat and they will continue to. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and just tell yourself, "Love yourself, you're a beautiful and strong woman, and no person will ever change that, no person will ever define you, no person can ever hurt you unless you allow them to". 

It all comes down to this. Stop wondering why so many guys cheat and just focus on finding the one who won't do that to you. One thing I can't stand is when women post dumb and immature status updates or quotes saying things like, 'I guess I can't trust anyone'. Or 'All men cheat, I'll never find a good one'. Women who loose hope in finding a good guy are just people who give up. Or those women are probably immature and don't have a whole lot of self-love. (See a previous blog I wrote on 'self love and learning how to love yourself'). Men will cheat, there's usually not much we can do to stop it from happening. You just have to learn to move on from him and move forward without him. 

Instagram: jovi_casie

Email: jovi.casie@gmail.com

Meet me in St. Louis...or maybe just San Diego.

Yesterday I went to the San Diego county fair with the family. Although, I always remember it as the Del Mar Fair. Going to the fair reminds me of one of my favorite movies... "Meet me in St. Louis".  The Fair is a big and fun occasion for my family. This year was the first year we went as a family since I was a teenager.  My whole family would go every year for as long as I can remember. I even have all the old pictures. 

This year, we decided to plan ahead and go as a family to celebrate Fathers Day weekend. It was a blast. We started out by walking through all the tented halls that hold all the sales booths, fashion, jewelry, home products, outdoor furniture and decor. They have everything you can think of. My parents love to go to find things for their home. While my brother, his girlfriend and I love to goof around like we're kids still and be silly. I love it. 

My brother and I both got the famous Rootbeer floats from Farrell's Parlour, a retro 50's inspired ice cream parlour that has the best floats, sundaes and waffle cones. Then we had Pinks savory hot dogs. A popular hot dog place from Los Angeles, specifically Hollywood area. It was my first time trying it, and it was the bomb.com! Dad had a huge turkey leg smothered in smokey BBQ sauce. Mom had a tuna sandwich, she likes to keep it healthy. Overall, we tried the food, sweets, dessert, and a couple fried foods. Needless to say we were overly stuffed by days end and slightly bloated! 

The fair is fun, entertaining, and just full of life. You see people from all ends of the world, different cultures, ethnicities; and I just love that there is no judgment, everyone embraces each other. After all, we're all here for the same reason, for fun, the delicious food, and the bonding time with family, your friends, or a significant other. 

When the sun goes down and the lights start to turn on all over, I'm reminded of the moment in "Meet me in St. Louis", where Judy Garlands character Esther, is fascinated by the light show at the St. Louis fair.  It's towards the end of the movie when her whole family gathers at the famous hometown fair and they are so fascinated and joyful. The ending line of the movie is by Esther. She says, "I can't believe it. Right here where we live. Right here in St. Louis." She refers to not having to take a train or stay in a hotel, but that this beauty is truely right there in their hometown. 

So as the lights turned on at the San Diego County Fair, I can say I was truely mesmerized by the beauty of that moment. I concur with Judy Garlands character. San Diegans are so lucky to live here. We honestly do have everything here. And the best part? We don't have to take a train or stay in a hotel. The fair is just a short drive away. As my family and I left the fair, I stopped and took one last look down the famous entrance strip. The lights were gleaming with joy, laughter all around me, people taking pictures, and the Farris Wheel at the very end, all lit up making for a perfect picture moment. It was a beautiful moment to capture as a memory. It was the perfect end to a perfect day with my family at the Fair. 

Instagram: jovi_casie

Email: jovi.casie@gmail.com

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/12423871/?claim=dsy3u64t7gx">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

What happened to human interaction?

While at a Starbucks recently, I noticed something that made me instantly think that people really do need to put down their phones and maybe actually speak to the nice stranger that says hi. 

While sipping on my Venti Iced Passion Tea Lemonade and browsing on my ipad, I suddenly looked up and noticed my surroundings. There was a group of students at the table next to me discussing a book, I  overheard their conversation a little. They were having a really cool discussion, and I kind of wished I was part of this study group. The couple sitting in front of me were literally sitting in silence. Both on their phones, the guy looked around a few times as though he was bored. His girlfriend or wife didn't even notice because she was so 'busy' on Instagram. (When I walked by her to use the restroom I saw it on her iphone screen.) There was one person sitting at the bar area doing homework. One guy sitting behind me doing the same. And an elderly lady reading a book and sipping her coffee even further behind me. Randomly, there was a guy dozing off while listening to his headphones in the back corner. And not surprisingly everyone in line waiting for their drinks were looking at their phones until it was time to order. Not one person seemed to say hi to each other or even smile. As I looked all around me the only people who stood out the most was the group next to me. I was honestly fascinated that such discussions still take place. Why was I so fascinated at what seems like a common thing? Simply because it really isn't that common anymore. 

Why is it so hard for people to socialize in such a small area such as a coffee shop? I understand that some come alone to study, and I think there's nothing wrong with that. These couples or friends that come here to hang out but end up being on their phones the whole time, are just nuts. Yes, nuts! Because they can't interact with the person they came here to hangout with. 

So then something amazing happened as I was observing everyone. An elderly guy came in to enjoy his coffee. He ordered then walked by me looking for somewhere to sit. He found a single table in front of the group of students, so he was to my left but across from me. He must have noticed that I was observing. He smiled at me and I smiled back. A few minutes later, he walked over to me and politely said that he comes in to enjoy a small coffee everyday and that he likes to conversate with new people. Always being the cautious person I am, I was a little reluctant at first. He then asked if he could join me. I told him that I was writing but he could join me for a few minutes. He was really old, and he seemed like one of those nice old people that just wanna talk to someone because they're lonely. Turns out he was. 

He began to tell me about how he comes in everyday and he was widowed and used to come here with his wife when she was still alive. He said he still comes in for his coffee because he likes the company of others. I thought it was so sweet but sad about him loosing his wife. So then he asked me what I did and what I was writing about, so I told him I was a writer and blogger. He was so fascinated by it. I could go on and on about our cool conversation, but it would take a whole other story. The conversation lasted about a good half hour, and the guy was really nice and we had a genuine conversation.

I wish this kind of incident happened more often in life. Had I been one of those many other people too busy on their cell phones, I wouldn't have looked up, and I wouldn't have met a cool person and had that interesting conversation. My point is that we should put down our phones and tablets and iPads, and strike up a conversation.  As Einstein said, " I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." 

The New Tinder: Do you believe in Tinderella?

So Tinder got revamped today. They released a newer version of the app available for update. For those who aren't familiar with Tinder, it is a modern day version of online dating meets social interaction. When looking for matches you either swipe right for yes or left for no. Once you select yes to that match, if that match also selected yes to you then the next step allows you both to message each other. People use Tinder for dating, hook-ups, serious relationships, or just to find a friend to hangout with. Often people just visiting in town will look to this app to meet up with people that will show them all the hot spots around town.  

This morning Tinder upped its game by now allowing something called 'moments'. Similar to Instagram and seeing a Instagram-like feed. Basically you can now see real life moments from someone you were matched with instead of just their set of main pictures shown on their profile. 

While some people see this as a cool socializing app or an easy hook-up, others see this as an easier way of finding someone to date and eventually have a serious relationship. You may have heard of some horrible first Tinder dates, or you may have heard of a Tinder success story. I know people who have even found friends on the app and still remain friends today. 

Some may argue that Tinder is tedious but one would have to admit, that whatever the reason you are on Tinder, it works. With this update offered this morning, and after exploring the app myself, I must say bravo Tinder, bravo! The question remains.... Do you believe in Tinderella?