Infamous Break-up Methods

The infamous scene from the show 'Sex and the City'. Carrie Bradshaw's boyfriend broke-up with her by leaving a post-it on her laptop. The sticky note reads, "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me-".

With texting being the number one form of communication these days, not to mention all forms of social media, it's also the most heard of way to break-up with someone. Everyone knows someone who got dumped over text, Facebook, Twitter or the infamous 'post-it' sticky, as seen on 'Sex and the City'. What gives a person a right to use these methods to break-up? Has breaking it off with someone become so unconventional, that we need to stoop to such lows?

I see it daily. From my Twitter feed to my Facebook feed, every day I see some kind of post in regards to a couple fighting, a couple breaking up, and immature posts, usually from women.

Ladies, we are usually known as the more mature mate in relationships. When did we all become so immature and careless as to post all your dirty laundry onto the Internet?
Guys, you are usually known as the more private mate in relationships. When did it become OK to end things with your girl through a stupid text or announcing it through social media before she even knows? 

I can recall about a year ago, seeing something blow up on my news feed on Facebook. A girl I went to High School with had posted about how upset she was because the guy she had been with for quite some time, had broken it off with her over Facebook, and she didn't even know until a friend notified her. She literally had the misfortune of having to find out on her Facebook when the guy had changed his relationship status to 'Single'. When she tried to contact him, he had blocked her. He didn't return her calls...nothing. All she asked for was the decency for him to explain to her why. As anyone would want to know. Yet, he never did.

Why is it that people are too lazy or too careless to break-up with someone in this way? I think most of us prefer a face to face break-up. Although, some prefer and are OK with, an over the phone break-up. I consider over the phone the same as texting. I mean, get real people, if you have been with someone for a couple of years, have the decency to call them up and ask them to meet you somewhere. I believe there to be only one exception to this. If you have only been seeing someone shortly, like less than 3 months, then over the phone is maybe appropriate. BUT, in person would still be nicer. Since there is no real nice way of breaking up with someone, it's the least we can do.

I conducted a poll recently asking friends this question: "What do you think is the worst way to break-up with someone?" A lot of people replied with 'text'. Others replied with social media, or not returning texts/calls, completely cut off with no response or reason. I wasn't the least bit shocked to hear this. It happens so commonly that its almost expected, and it really shouldn't be. I think Reality TV is one of the causes of making people believe that it's acceptable to break-up with someone like this. Its all you see now a days.

"Omg, he just texted me telling me that it's not going to work anymore, WTF?!" 

"She just changed her relationship status to single, let me call up my girl, I don't know what she's trying to say?" 
"I was in a meeting and he left a message on my voicemail saying it was over and to never call him again. What? How can he do this...Why?" 

Sound familiar? Chances are you have heard a friend or relative repeat one of those lines.

In order to end this trend, we need to restore what was once a given. When you break-up with someone, you should ask them to meet up with you, anywhere, and sit them down and 'talk' with them. Yes, people dread the 'talk', but it's honestly the most decent way to go about it. If we had to choose, I think most of us, men and women, would agree that this is the way we would want to be dumped. Next time you are feeling things aren't working out with someone, do the proper thing and the decent thing, tell them in person. Don't be another statistic. Don't put yourself in that awful category of people who break-up over text or social media.

Text-lationships and revealing your true self

In the most recent generation of young adults, we are seeing so many new terms and made up words for our technology driven lives. From Tinder dates, to sexting, to twerking....well how about text-lationships? Sounds a bit crazy, but it's the newest term being used. And I'm about to give you all the inside scoop.

Have you ever found yourself wanting to be in a relationship, so you go on Tinder or meet someone in person, and then how does it begin 99% of the time? With sending each other a multitude of texts daily until you meet up for the first date. Recently I spoke to a friend who met this seemingly great guy. She said they met on tinder, texted for about two weeks (making sure he wasn't some creep), then decided to meet up for the first time. She was so excited, and she couldn't wait to meet him, after all, they talked daily and exchanged goodmorning texts to goodnight texts. It seemed great! Until they met in person. They had nothing to talk about on their first date. She said it was so awkward. They never saw each other again, and the multitude of texts, suddenly stopped altogether. 

You see, I think a lot of us get so caught up hiding behind our phones, in every aspect, that we forget how to be humans, literally and physically. And in these cases, we develop a text-lationship with someone, feeling more comfortable behind the phone than in person. I would describe a text-lationship as a relationship between two people, and the only form of contact or communication is texting. You don't see that person, you don't talk on the phone, just text. It's really both as simple and lame as that. 

This generation of young adults is so technology driven that we are forgetting who we are, and how to interact. When did we become so comfortable with the idea of hiding behind a cell phone. When did it become okay of us to become a whole other person because we don't need to meet in person. I mean, wake up people! I see this newest trend happening more and more. And it really shouldn't be. 

We've all been subject to this in one form of another. Even if it's innocently texting just get to know the person before meeting up. My advice:

1. Hold off on the texting, no cute texts such as goodmorning or goodnight, until after you meet.
2. If you want to get to know the person, pick up the phone. Keep the primary conversations short, until after you meet in person. Trust me when I say, it will help your relationship in the long run.
3. And most guys like a woman who plays hard to get, not too much, just a little. If they do text you, wait like 10 minutes to text them back, don't respond right away every time.

These aren't rules, just advice. I don't believe in rules when it comes to dating and relationships. These are just a few ways to get a relationship started off the right way and how to avoid a text-lationship.

In the generation of Instagram celebrities, it's so easy to jump on the bandwagon. A lot of people make up this alternate persona, appealing to the Instagram audience, only to boost their popularity with people they don't even know. Saddest part? We're nothing like our Instagram profiles. We usually appear skinnier, smarter, and are amateur photographers. We seemingly live a very awesome life, when in reality, most of these people hate their jobs, are overwhelmed with their kids, and some are not happy in their romantic relationships. But as always, their Instagram profile says otherwise.

With all these new and quirky terms, technology is taking over our lives, but don't let it. You want to be in a real relationship and represent your true self? Then leave behind the social media, the rules, and the technology. You tell me if you see a change in your relationships and/or dating...because the chances are good that you will.


Writer's note: This video I included below, from Youtube, is a perfect example of everything I mentioned in this Blog/Article. PLease take the time to share this video and my blog. Thank you

Instagram: @jovi_casie

jovi.casie@gmail.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxVZYiJKl1Y

What happened to human interaction?

While at a Starbucks recently, I noticed something that made me instantly think that people really do need to put down their phones and maybe actually speak to the nice stranger that says hi. 

While sipping on my Venti Iced Passion Tea Lemonade and browsing on my ipad, I suddenly looked up and noticed my surroundings. There was a group of students at the table next to me discussing a book, I  overheard their conversation a little. They were having a really cool discussion, and I kind of wished I was part of this study group. The couple sitting in front of me were literally sitting in silence. Both on their phones, the guy looked around a few times as though he was bored. His girlfriend or wife didn't even notice because she was so 'busy' on Instagram. (When I walked by her to use the restroom I saw it on her iphone screen.) There was one person sitting at the bar area doing homework. One guy sitting behind me doing the same. And an elderly lady reading a book and sipping her coffee even further behind me. Randomly, there was a guy dozing off while listening to his headphones in the back corner. And not surprisingly everyone in line waiting for their drinks were looking at their phones until it was time to order. Not one person seemed to say hi to each other or even smile. As I looked all around me the only people who stood out the most was the group next to me. I was honestly fascinated that such discussions still take place. Why was I so fascinated at what seems like a common thing? Simply because it really isn't that common anymore. 

Why is it so hard for people to socialize in such a small area such as a coffee shop? I understand that some come alone to study, and I think there's nothing wrong with that. These couples or friends that come here to hang out but end up being on their phones the whole time, are just nuts. Yes, nuts! Because they can't interact with the person they came here to hangout with. 

So then something amazing happened as I was observing everyone. An elderly guy came in to enjoy his coffee. He ordered then walked by me looking for somewhere to sit. He found a single table in front of the group of students, so he was to my left but across from me. He must have noticed that I was observing. He smiled at me and I smiled back. A few minutes later, he walked over to me and politely said that he comes in to enjoy a small coffee everyday and that he likes to conversate with new people. Always being the cautious person I am, I was a little reluctant at first. He then asked if he could join me. I told him that I was writing but he could join me for a few minutes. He was really old, and he seemed like one of those nice old people that just wanna talk to someone because they're lonely. Turns out he was. 

He began to tell me about how he comes in everyday and he was widowed and used to come here with his wife when she was still alive. He said he still comes in for his coffee because he likes the company of others. I thought it was so sweet but sad about him loosing his wife. So then he asked me what I did and what I was writing about, so I told him I was a writer and blogger. He was so fascinated by it. I could go on and on about our cool conversation, but it would take a whole other story. The conversation lasted about a good half hour, and the guy was really nice and we had a genuine conversation.

I wish this kind of incident happened more often in life. Had I been one of those many other people too busy on their cell phones, I wouldn't have looked up, and I wouldn't have met a cool person and had that interesting conversation. My point is that we should put down our phones and tablets and iPads, and strike up a conversation.  As Einstein said, " I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots."