When did Ignorance become Bliss?

Ignorance is Bliss? I certainly don't think so. I read an article earlier on elitedaily.com titled "Ladies, the smarter you are, the more likely you are to be single". First off, let me say that I love the way the writer wrote this article and how they presented the truth and both sides. I am also glad to have come across an article like this. Men, if you think this is wrong, you are on the right path. Ladies, if you can relate, share this blog with your female and male friends. 

It occurred to me while reading this article, that there were many valid points made. I agree with one very strong point...that there is an epidemic of settling in this generation. Whatever the reason may be, I would love to hear honest explanations from the many people who settle. How can we as living human beings allow ourselves to be so ignorant? How can anyone allow their heart not to be happy to its full capacity of happiness? 

What I have difficulty understanding is why this generation is the generation of settling? I applaud those who don't and are still looking for the right one or have found the right one...their equal. Why should we as woman not see through the lies and the BS? And why should men allow themselves to be with someone who does? How can they morally be OK with that? It's true what the writer says in the article about how people believe that ignorance is bliss. But it really shouldn't be. Too many people are stuck on this misconception, specifically several women. 

So then why must an intelligent woman suffer for what a guy lacks? Just because a guy doesn't want to be emasculated and wants to be the dominant one? I don't think so. I once dated a guy who said he was completely supportive of me going to school and focusing on my passion. But he really wanted someone who can do wifely duties and work around his schedule. It should be equal. It doesn't matter who makes more money or who is more intelligent (that phrase should not even be used in a relationship), an equal partnership should be allowing each other to grow together but in the right direction. Each individual pursuing their dreams while supporting one another along the way. 

For the men who feel threatened by more successful woman, you are so morally wrong to the core to feel and think that way. I'm sorry to tell you, but we don't live in the stone ages anymore. Couples should be empowering one another. Sadly, it's a fact that most people, female and male, like to be the better one in a relationship. 

Women are getting more and more intelligent and men just aren't getting more supportive. Men aren't progressing as they should be according to modern times. Instead, we are finding that deep down, men still feel the need to be superior. Men feel the need to be the one in charge and take on the macho roll of supporting his woman and family. That's all fine and dandy...if it was the 50s. As said in this article I read, the number of college-educated women far outweigh the number of college-educated men. So what does this tell you?

We live among a generation of idiots. No surprise there. Instead of women waiting for the man that is equal to her and empowers her, women have the tendency to settle and are lowering their standards just to find a guy who appreciates them. Women are giving up their careers and dreams for these men. Some would think, that's great. But the intelligent person knows right from wrong and logic from fantasy. The fact that so many women are settling and so many men actually want a dumb woman, shows that intelligence doesn't exist in those relationships. And only in those relationships, is ignorance truly bliss. For a person not to acknowledge the immorality in the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' is to not feel. You can argue with me and try to rationalize it in your mind but that phrase is simply fantasy. Meaning that you are so stuck in a state of mind where you believe you are happy because you have settled and lowered your standards. 

Where are the men who are supposed to challenge us and understand us? Where are the men who are supposed to shock us and support us? The men who think it's a turn on that their woman is so damn smart. God forbid, a woman tries to challenge a man or question him. Not in an accusatory way, just in a moral way. I believe that an intelligent woman has a right to be loved. Yes I just said that. Men who ditch a great woman simply because she exudes intelligence and success, is a coward. 

I once was ignorant. I once chose to be blind to the lies. Then one day I chose to see through all the lies and the BS. When I chose to not be ignorant and blind anymore, that's when I started to realize something. I was in relationships with guys I was settling with. And now I'll be totally honest. I find myself going on less and less dates. Not because I can't get one but because I'm tired of dating the same guy over and over. I have yet to find a guy who challenges and shocks me. I have yet to find that guy who is willing to support me and can understand me and wants to be my equal. It really isn't much to ask for, but in this generation, apparently it is. I refuse to settle for a guy who is going to lie to me, hide things from me, and talk badly about me behind my back. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. All woman should keep their standards high, and a man should want the challenge to meet these standards, and vice-a-versa. Both men and women should have high standard for each other, and those standards should be of equal balance. 

For some time I thought I was crazy to have such high standards, but I've realized over time and through my personal experiences that intelligence is key for a relationship. We can't let ourselves believe that ignorance is bliss and we should strive to eliminate this epidemic of settling. Intelligence should be expected in a relationship. I'm not just talking about college-educated either. Intelligence means being independent, knowing how to love yourself first before loving another person. Intelligence is knowing right from wrong in both logic and morals. Intelligence is knowing and understanding what equality is. To live your life in ignorance isn't bliss, it's tragedy. 

Understanding Women

Recently one of my followers asked me to write about understanding women. I decided to do some fun research by asking both men and women what type of facts they wanted me to address. Understanding women can be difficult to dissect, while men are also just as difficult; but that's a whole other blog.

For centuries men have asked this question and they will continue to for centuries to come. At last, I'm here to tell you just how to understand women. The answer is...wait for it...there is no answer. All women are different, therefore breaking down every single part of a woman's logic, reasoning, actions, thoughts, motives, emotions, and anatomy is just down right impossible. What I can tell you is that a woman is the only person who will decide how easy or hard it is to understand them. Every woman decides how much of them they want to show; and in a lot of cases, women don't even understand themselves.

As a woman, I can tell you that it is true that a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. Meaning that we will always have some secrets or events in our life that will stay with us forever and never be shared. I can tell you that we can and will be difficult at times when we are NOT on our period. Sometimes you men just drive us crazy, or sometimes we are trying to tell you something. Listen, observe, and give us space if we need it or lend a shoulder if we need it. Women want to feel loved and be loved. Even the most independent, single, and self-aware woman wants to be loved. Women want men to listen to them. It's really simple. We talk about our day, you listen; and vice-a-versa. When we want to be left alone, sometimes we really just want to be alone and other times we are really just asking for attention. Use your best judgment on the situation. Did you just have a fight with her about something small and petty? Then go comfort her. Did you just have a big fight about a serious issue? Give her time to think.

Women are usually more emotional during sex, with the exception of the few who feel nothing and just want to bang you. We like the chemistry, the passion, and yes we like to have fun. But sometimes we want to take it slow and make love. Other times we want passionate, wild sex. It's just who we are. But, sex is more emotional for us in that we tend to feel when we're having sex. So naturally, this is why we become attached sometimes after having sex. A lot of men wonder why a woman becomes so attached after popping her cherry. For most women, their first time is really special, and we hope it's with someone we love and someone who really loves us back. When a woman is with a guy she loses her virginity to, she tends to feel a little clingy at first. Why? Because she just experienced one of the most important days in her life with you. You are the first guy she ever felt so comfortable with. You are the first guy to see her most intimate side and her most vulnerable side. Sex isn't just sex to most woman. It's something deep and personal and we really do think that whoever gets to experience it with us is the luckiest guy alive. If you are in a serious relationship, make sure you make it known how lucky you are to have her.

Guys will NEVER understand what we go through during that time of the month. Nor will you understand what it's like to feel so hormonal. Believe it or not, sometimes we don't know why we get so angry or cry. Our hormones are so out of whack that even we wonder why we just cried uncontrollably at the homeless dog we see everyday on our way to work. We see that dog every day but today we took one look and just sobbed like a baby. And we have no clue why. It sounds funny and it is, but it's something we can't control. Why do we get so angry or annoyed easily? Because of those darn hormones. Do not, i repeat do not try to tell us to suck it up or to get over it when we are hurting, angry, sad, crying, or annoyed. You will see the wrath of Satan inside us. No really, some form of him will come out. All joking aside, some women get very ill during that time of the month. Any part of our body can ache or hurt. What's the best thing to do for us during our period? Be there for us. Offer up a massage or a draw us a bath with candles for us to relax. A warm bath with Epsom salt is a great remedy. If you see us crying, just bring us the box of tissues, don't laugh and don't question it. Don't do anything to anger us. Avoid off topics and if you know what annoys us already, then don't provoke us. Sometimes, it's best to stay away from us all together.

I wont address the immaturity in women and those who play games. What I will address is the women who know what they want. If you are in a mature relationship then chances are you are already with a woman who knows what she wants and doesn't beat around the bush. These are the type of women you men want to surround yourself with. Then there won't be any confusion or nothing complicated about them. A woman who knows what she wants, is much easier to understand. So guys, pay attention, listen up...you won't ever completely understand women. But to get a better understanding about us, you have to have patience, have sympathy, and if you have any questions just ask us! Talk to us, and communicate with us.

Unfortunately there is so much one can write about this topic but that would most likely turn into a book. Women are hard to understand at times, but when you're paired with a good one, it becomes a little easier. What I suggest is not listening to your friends experiences, because every woman is different. No two woman are alike. Stop listening to your bro that says, "women will always be women". Whatever that idiotic statement is supposed to mean; its NOT true and never will be. The biggest mistake men make is listening to other men who think they know it all or think they have all the 411 on women. Sorry to break it to you guys, but I have yet to meet a guy who completely understands a woman. Plus, as I said before, no two women are alike. So you can't base one guy's opinion off of his experiences with women because they are all different.

I personally believe that men aren't meant to understand women completely. Just as we are not meant to fully understand men. There is some level of understanding we should have for each other. To get to this understanding, refer to your own experiences with women. Never have the belief that all women are the same. Never compare.

I'll leave you with some wise words:
     "Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood" -Oscar Wilde

Why men cheat

Recently I have read many articles on why men cheat. From facts and statistics to the writers opinion, those articles all had some truth to it. Also, why does society accept cheating? Is it because they don't want to mess up what they think is a 'good' relationship in their eyes, or are they in denial?

After doing a lot of research and even asking my friends a list of questions about their love life, I've come to conclude that there is no exact answer as to why. Obviously right? What I can say, definitively, is that cheating is sadly a 'norm'. But I believe that it shouldn't be. What constitutes a persons right to cheat on someone and not have the decency to just end the relationship before hand? I believe a lot of men are just selfish. They have their cake and they want to eat it too. I'm not talking about all guys, just the cheaters.

Whether your girlfriend is wonderful or a psycho, no woman, or person for that matter, deserves to be cheated on. If you don't like her, break it off. If you do like her, then why cheat? A lot of men feel the need of masculinity and dominance; this dates back to the caveman days. This needs to stop. What gives men the right to act on an urge because they think it was their given right since the dawn of time?

I once dated a guy who had an obsession with having to talk to a female pretty much every day. Sadly, this guy still believes he has never done anything wrong and this guy has so many underlying issues and he refuses to face them and acknowledge them. He is in his late 30s, which means he will never change and I've predicted that he will never settle down, so far I'm right. While we were together, he was constantly on Facebook chatting inappropriately with other women, and always on these raunchy dating sites. It's like he felt like he needed self-reassurance. Yes, because a nasty looking woman said she liked you, you are almighty and powerful (beats chest). Do you get the sarcasm there? Anyway, this guy was obsessed with it, and he never deleted his conversations. Not to mention he tried to hook up with most of these women. 

I never really confronted him about it because a part of me was scared to at the time. Until the day we broke up, when I confronted him about it. He didn't even look me in the eye when I asked him to just tell me the truth because it was over already. He still denied it like a coward. As if it was his fantasy world or something. 

Funny thing was that I did some research on his past relationships and the relationships he had after me and it all came down to the same reason as to why they broke up. He always tried to find something he thought was wrong with the woman he was with and he tried to be an analyzer and play 'Mr. Fix It'. What's even funnier is that most of these 'problems' were not problems. He just had that need, again, to point out a very small flaw and make it into something big. And he would always tell the woman she needed to fix it or else they couldn't be together. Point is, he was a jackass, and he had extreme emotional issues since he was kid. He never dealt with them and it has affected his relationships through most of his adult life. After that guy and I broke up, a lot of family and friends said I would be 'the one that got away' for him. 

There are a lot of men who are in denial of their issues and for that reason, it will always affect their relationships. People will cheat and they will continue to. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and just tell yourself, "Love yourself, you're a beautiful and strong woman, and no person will ever change that, no person will ever define you, no person can ever hurt you unless you allow them to". 

It all comes down to this. Stop wondering why so many guys cheat and just focus on finding the one who won't do that to you. One thing I can't stand is when women post dumb and immature status updates or quotes saying things like, 'I guess I can't trust anyone'. Or 'All men cheat, I'll never find a good one'. Women who loose hope in finding a good guy are just people who give up. Or those women are probably immature and don't have a whole lot of self-love. (See a previous blog I wrote on 'self love and learning how to love yourself'). Men will cheat, there's usually not much we can do to stop it from happening. You just have to learn to move on from him and move forward without him. 

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