Be the CEO of your Life!

Being an independent person is one of the most valuable and most rewarding assets you could ever have in your life. Taking charge of your own life and of your own existence should empower you to do and be a better person in life, because there is always room for improvement. 

I see it everyday, in family and friends...people who depend on others. Independence does not come easy. It takes a lot of hard work and it takes a certain confidence in yourself to be able to step out into the world on your own. From purchasing your first car to buying your first home, being independent is so rewarding. I like to say that when you work hard and strive for the best, then there isn't anything you can't achieve. When you invest your time in schooling and/or your career, that's how you get ahead. Being independent and in control of your life, however, comes from within. 

Being an independent person doesn't just mean achieving our materialistic wants, it also means achieving self awareness. Knowing who you are and what defines you. Knowing that no one but yourself can define the person you are. The gratification of knowing what it means to love yourself outweighs the momentary gratification of having a materialistic item. As people say...money isn't everything; but self empowerment on the other hand, will give you happiness for the rest of your life. In order to start feeling and being independent, I believe it takes knowing who you are and being self aware of your love for yourself.

For those who don't know how to gain independence follow my advice and hear these words when I say, go boldly in the direction you seek. If you see yourself in a situation that is holding you back, then do what you need to, to move forward from it. I want to take a moment to acknowledge that there are some who were raised in an abusive and/or controlling environment. For these people, I must urge you to recognize that those environments and those people do NOT define you. They do not decide what you do with the rest of your life, nor do they dictate your thoughts. Be the best you, empower yourself, surround yourself with positive, strong, independent people. Those people are the ones who will empower you and encourage you, not bring you down or remind you of your past. In the words of one of my favorite authors, Meg Jay, "The unlived life is not worth examining". Don't look back, only look forward. 

It's hard to imagine yourself in a place in your life you are unfamiliar with. It's hard to envision yourself being someone your are currently not. But gaining your independence doesn't happen over night. For me, it took a little therapy because I needed help examining my life and figuring out who I was. Then I started to read books upon books, and articles. All of which were about being independent, loving yourself, letting go of the negative aspects in your life, what defines you, and how to take all that information and utilize it in your life. If you put forth both the effort and time, I guarantee you, it will be rewarding. There's no better feeling than waking up every day of your life and feeling an inner peace in your heart and mind. Whether you are spiritual, religious or neither, finding that inner peace is a gratifying feeling. 

Independence comes from within and from taking control over your life. Once you have that control of your inner peace and your life, it's time to announce your independence because you've done it. You've learned what it means to go through life not only empowering yourself, but empowering others as well. Most importantly, you've been through many lows to get to these great highs and you now know what defines you. Once you know what it is to have all of this, you're independent, you're strong, and you're the CEO of your own life. Embrace it.

8 ways to get through that horrible break-up

Ever had one of those break ups where you just wanna curl up and watch movies in bed for like a week straight? Not having a single care about your hair, make-up, or your life. Just isolating yourself from the world and taking that time to cry it out. We've all been there. I think taking a week off from life is ok. But more than that isn't doing any justice to yourself. 2 days is too little, and 2 weeks it too long. 

Mending a broken heart doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't happen in a few weeks either. When you have been in a relationship with someone for 2 or more years and you were so deeply in love with them, it's usually a pretty hard breakup, especially on your heart. The immediate stop in communication between you two, seems like a huge change in what was usually an ordinary occurrence for you. It's hard. Stepping back out into the world is also hard. You start to see things that remind you of that person. You run into his family or friends...and you want to break down and cry. 

Eventually that will pass, with time, you heal and move on. And even when it seems like you never will, you will. How do you get over these hard break-ups? Well I would suggest following the list below. Use this as your break-up bible. Because in a sense, it's the main thing that's going to get you out of bed and be able to begin to move forward. 

Cut off all communication with him.

That torturous moment the day after your break-up, you don't receive a single text or call, and it hurts like Hell, it really does. And you are tempted to text him, but don't! Many people are tempted to stay friends with their ex at first. I did that once, but one of my good friends kept getting on my butt about it. "Don't talk to him, don't communicate with him" she told me. At first I didn't listen, and then when I did, it started to make sense. About a month or so after our breakup I got into an argument with him and I cut off all ties to him. I was beyond done at that point. So, trust me when I say that going cold turkey and cutting off communication will help you in the long run. And then in a year or so, if you happen to run into him and you two are able to remain friends, then do it. By that time you should be in a much better place and most likely you'll have moved on from him by then, so a friendship won't be as awkward. 

Use that week off from life productively! 

Sure take the first day to lay in bed all day, but after that, spend that time doing things and keeping busy. You don't need to go outside. Do things around your house or have a couple of your girl friends over for some ice-cream and movies. And maybe some Wine. By doing this, you're giving yourself time to grieve and cry, but at least you are being productive. You are getting some things done around the house, finishing that DIY project that you never got around to, or even getting some home workouts in. Which brings me to my next point.

Find an aggressive workout routine.

This is not the time to do yoga, you have plenty of time for meditation later. Immediately following your break-up, you want to find a fast paced and aggressive workout regimen. It's a great way to release the anger and stress and a great way to stay productive during that first week off and afterwards as well. I remember during one of my breakups, I was having an intense workout on my elliptical and my angry thoughts of him were fueling my workout. I was going hard, and then I broke down crying. Honestly, It was the best kind of cry, I was releasing him from my mind and releasing my anger. Another plus from this, is keeping off the extra weight we usually put on after a break-up. Yea sometimes we just want to let ourselves go and not have a care in the world. But don't do that, you want to look and feel good when you finally decide to go out. 

Go out with your girls!

At the end of that week, set up a night out with your girls. At this point you have cried pretty much all day everyday, and you need to force yourself to get up, shower, put on something sexy and those cute pair of heels and some red lipstick. Hit up a bar or club with your girls. It's the best kind of therapy. Your friends know you're going through a rough time so they are going to want to take your mind off of it and make you feel as good as possible. Don't be afraid, have fun, after all you're a single woman now!

Don't have a rebound guy.

We've all read those articles about how having a guy to rebound with is good and a good way to know that you're over your ex. No. I say no, because what if that guy really likes you or you start to like him. You don't want to mix those feelings so quickly after a breakup. I know some will disagree with me in this, but it's not just our hearts that need time to heal, it's our mind, body and soul that needs time to heal. Going out and having sex with some guy you met at the pub isn't going to make you feel better. And when you have alcohol in your system, you don't have a clear head. So make sure on that girls night out, you are sticking around them, not trying to find some guy to rebound with. 

Find your meditation or your calm and peaceful place.

After about 3 weeks, you are still going to be hurting, that feeling won't go away right away, remember that. But this is just another thing to do to get your mind off of your current situation and begin the healing process. Meditate, or find a place that gives you peace of mind. Now is the time to add yoga into that aggressive workout routine. I found that going hard in a fast paced cardio, then jumping into a yoga sesh after was both beneficial for me and rewarding. I would do like 30 minutes of cardio, sometimes an hour, and then go into my meditation mode with a few yoga positions and just sitting their in silence, while calming my mind. It paid off big time in the end. My mind slowly but surely began to eliminate the anger and hurt. I started focusing on the well being of my body, mind and soul. It may sound corny but let me tell you, it really did help me! 

Once you are done with the healing process, start learning how to love yourself.

Some people already know hoe to love their self and that's awesome. That's how it should be. But for those who are having trouble, going through the healing process isn't just about mending your broken heart and eliminating your anger, hurt and sadness; it's about finding you again. It's about learning to love yourself, so that the next break up won't be as hard. I previously wrote a blog about learning to love yourself, but I will briefly say here, that the best way to get over bad breakups or any negativity life throws at us, is to already know what it means to love yourself. Once you know what that means and once you have found out how to love yourself, everything becomes much easier. Break-ups, negative moments, everything. It really does. I promise you that if you take the time to love yourself first, you start to understand things better and you start to realize that their is no need for so much hurt or anger in these break-ups. 

Lastly, start to live.

When you start living your life again, while doing all the above mentioned, things start to fall into place. Perhaps you want to go after that promotion, or maybe you want to spend more time with a family member or a friend. Go do it. Start doing things that benefit your well being and when you start to do these things, make sure that you are doing it for yourself first. It's ok to be a little selfish in this scenario. After all, that's what you are focusing on during the breakup period. You are focusing on a better you and focusing on your own life. When you begin to live, things start coming to you unexpectedly; that promotion or raise, that guy you started flirting with at your local Starbucks, the family member you are trying to mend things with, and even new friends. 

When you start to love yourself, it exudes to the people and environment around you. Happiness spreads as much as negativity does. So find your happiness, find that peaceful place, and start to live again. And the next time you go through a break-up, remember these tips, it will only help you get through it much easier. 

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Getting back into dating

Dating. It can be so much fun or so much work. I've been single for a good while now. And I kind of love it. There are times when it can get boring or times where I wish I had a boyfriend to cuddle with and watch a movie on a Friday night. But all in all, being single just seems to be so easy that it makes me not want to put in work. 

For the longest time I felt like that. But now I feel like I'm ready to get back into the dating game. I'm ready to start dating again; ready to go out on the 'several dates' before you know if the guy is relationship material. When you're enjoying single life, dating seems like work. But in fact it's so easy to make it fun! 

Whats a typical first date night like for me? Well, as always I think I'm starting early by giving myself two hours, when in reality I always end up running a little late. Although if I really like the guy, I'm usually ready on time. Funny how that works right? I start off by doing my hair and make up then picking the outfit and the look. Choosing the right accessories, the right lip color, and the right shoes. Then it's waiting for him to pick me up or if I'm meeting the guy then it's waiting for him to show up at the destination. I have yet to go on a date where the guy is early. No surprise there, but man would it be nice if I could date a guy who is early for once. 

My idea of a good first date, is grabbing a coffee, dinner, somewhere where we can talk so we can get to know each other. Somewhere not too noisy. The last thing you want is to be yelling at each other at some loud bar. I'm not a difficult person to please. I like simplicity. Would it be nice to meet a guy who goes above and beyond? YES! That would be awesome, but I have yet to meet that dream guy. I like to think that if a guy was going above and beyond for the first date then he would take me somewhere romantic like a horse drawn carriage in the park downtown, then maybe somewhere with a to-die-for view of the city. That would be amazing in my eyes. 

Point is, I'm ready to get back out there, and I'm excited to see what comes my way. I'm going to make the best of it and if I meet someone amazing then great. Dating should be fun, and I have a feeling it will be. 

Instagram: jovi_casie