Self love and my personal experience

Self love comes from within. Yes that's a given. I think some women have trouble understanding what self love really is. I'm still on my journey, and I'm sure I will be for a long time. We make mistakes, but then you have to learn to pick up the pieces. Learning to love yourself never ends, it's a continuous path that should never end. Even after you have learned to love yourself, you will experience ups and downs. I spent almost a year and a half  making some needed and important changes and just focusing on me and learning to love myself. With the help of a couple friends and doing lots of reading and even some meditation, I was able to focus on me and do what I needed to do. I was in a good place. Then I was faced with a choice. To start seeing a guy or not to. I did, it wasn't anything serious, and I felt I was strong enough and ready to start seeing or in this case just hanging out with someone casually. I don't regret a single moment, because we always learn something from each experience. But I will say this, while seeing this guy and hanging out with him for the short few months that I did, I saw my strengths being tested. I had dated this guy before, we used to be in a serious relationship years ago. I won't be specific so I can protect his identity. But I realized a lot of my old ways coming back, and I realized that I was feeling weak. What I mean by that is that I was giving into my weaknesses. You see, during that year and a half I spent alone focusing on me, I taught myself to control my urges and weaknesses, and I learned to be independent, confident and strong. I felt all of this slipping through my hands. I was loosing my self control and I was loosing my strength. And even though I knew this, I still went on. What a relief when it ended. Let me tell you. I am now ready, so ready, to start over again. And pick up where I left off. After looking back I felt that I was replacing the feeling of loneliness with the feeling of companionship and having a guy around. Biggest mistake that I have made in the past. But I accept it as a 'down' in my path. And that's ok. This is where I say you have to keep working on yourself, just as I am. For those wondering what happened, I'm just friends with this guy, still debating if I even want to talk to him or let him be a person in my life. 

Self love is so beautiful. And no guy should every have the capability to take that away from you! If anything, as women, we should strive to look for a guy who will only empower us and support us, and be there for us. Someone who will love you for you. When a couple helps each other grow with patience, love, respect, and a kind heart, they are growing together and learning together. That's how it should be. Love yourself. Be enough. We don't need a significant other to validate our existence. Only we define our life, we define our worth. No one else. You are enough.